Even Jesus is too woke for the MAGA right
Jesus was a Capricorn and ate organic food—that much we know. But was he woke? Some conservative “Christians” think so and say His teachings are too “weak” and “liberal,” explained Russell Moore, former top official for the Southern Baptist Convention.
“Turn the other cheek,” is too woke for the Christian right. "When we get to the point where the teachings of Jesus himself are seen as subversive to us, then we're in a crisis," Moore said. Amen.
The family values folks have been preaching something besides brotherly love for a while now. Turn the other cheek? Maybe if they drop their pants first.
“Evangelical” is a scary term for heathens, like Wilson and the band. It comes from the Greek “euangelion,” meaning “good news.” In times past, “evangelical” referred to people and churches committed to the message that Jesus Christ is the savior of humanity. For some on the right it means something like, “Jesus Christ is the savior of MAGAtes,” and others need not apply.
Some 81% of white evangelical Protestant voters went for Trump in 2020, according to Gallup exit polls. After all, who is more Christlike than Donald Trump? “If you come after me, I'm coming after you.”
Well, not exactly what Jesus of Nazareth would say. But then again, He keeps spouting those woke talking points: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” The dude is totally woke. “Love your neighbor?” Ha.
“Treetop Barbie” No Tarzan
Nalini Nadkarni, professor emerita of biology at the University of Utah, was the impetus for a Barbie, known as Treetop Barbie. Nadkarni studies the canopies of forests and spent much of her career in the tops of tall trees, where little-known ecosystems thrive. No Wilson, she doesn't swing on vines and call out “ungowa” to the elephants.
Two decades ago, the biologist put the idea to toy-maker Mattel to create a Barbie that climbed trees for scientific research, she told The Salt Lake Tribune. “I simply wanted to show little girls that being curious about and exploring forest canopies with a crossbow, ropes, helmet and instructional booklet about canopy plants is a possibility.”
If Barbie can be an astronaut, a musician or a doctor, why not? But it was a no-go until 2019, when Mattel introduced its Explorer Series with Barbies of various scientific professions. All told, there are some 176 different Barbies with 9 body types, 35 skin tones and 94 hairstyles. She does get around.
And now Barbie is the star of a blockbuster movie that has over $1 billion in ticket sales worldwide. They even love Barbie in China, but the movie has been banned in Lebanon, Kuwait and Vietnam because it “encourages unacceptable behavior and distorts society’s values.” They know trouble when they see it.
Women’s Soccer Destroying America
Unless you've been living in Iowa—where Republican presidential candidates are eating corndogs and trying to be Mini-Trump—you know the Women's U.S. Soccer Team lost to Sweden in the World Cup.
True patriots pounced—they knew too well why the U.S. lost: Because the team is a bunch of entitled, woke, communist losers. They hate this country and are led by the purple-haired Megan Rapinoe, an LGBTQ activist, who four years ago—after winning the World Cup—said, “I'm not going to the f---ing White House,” when President Trump so graciously invited them. “I'm thrilled they lost. Good. I'm glad you went down,” said conservative commentator Megyn Kelly.
In 2016, the then-world champion U.S. Women's team began demanding equal pay. In 2022, they grabbed worldwide headlines when they got it! And if that wasn't uppity enough, they stood in silence during the National Anthem at the World Cup.
Trump just couldn't help himself, writing on social media: “Woke equals failure ... The U.S. is going to hell.” The internet echoed, “woke pieces of trash,” over and over again. Mike Freedman of USA Today summed it up perfectly: “We have not seen this kind of hatred since Colin Kaepernick took a knee.” It's so fulfilling to have someone to hate. It just brightens up the whole day.
Postscript—That's a wrap for another strange week here at Smart Bomb, where we keep track of AI (artificial intelligence) so you don't have to. AI, it seems, is everywhere. There's even a new app where folks can text back and forth to Jesus. We wouldn't lie about a thing like that. Maybe Florida's governor will give it a try after reading this headline: “Should DeSantis do mushrooms to be a cooler candidate?”
The rapper known as Drake opened his L.A. concert with this: “Don't throw bras, my 5-year-old son is here.” Throwing bras at Drake has become a thing ever since ... well, ever since women started throwing bras at him. It could be worse.
Saying the political right is up in arms is like saying the sun also rises. Markers honoring Robert E. Lee's horse, Traveller, have been removed from Washington and Lee University in Lexington, VA. Yes, those damn woke commies have canceled a horse. What's next? Donald Trump's first wife Ivana is buried at his Bedford, NJ, golf course. Sad. But recently, sharp-eyed players noticed that tall grass has grown around her gravestone obscuring it. We have no idea what that means.
Last but not least, Republican state legislators, who have been clamping down on abortion rights, think women in the GOP never get abortions. Clearly, they haven't seen Barbie.
Well Wilson, the Christian right is at it again. But now it seems they're turning on Jesus for being woke and empathetic. It's a troubled world and Jesus probably had a good idea that people were always going to screw up. “Forgive others and you will be forgiven.”
So Wilson, tell the guys in the band to put down the bong and take us out with some love and understanding:
Kris Kristofferson - Jesus Was A Capricorn
Jesus was a Capricorn
He ate organic food
He believed in love and peace
And never wore no shoes
Long hair, beard and sandals
And a funky bunch of friends
Reckon we'd just nail him up
If he came down again
'Cause everybody's gotta have somebody to look down on
Prove they can be better than at any time they choose
Someone doin' somethin' dirty decent folks can frown on
If you can't find nobody else, then help yourself to me
Eggheads fussin' rednecks cussin'
Hippies for their hair
Others laugh at straights who laugh at
Freaks who laugh at squares
Some folks hate the Whites
Who hate the Blacks who hate the Klan
Most of us hate anything that
We don't understand
“Jesus Was a Capricorn”
https://youtu.be/yCdfYkUPvTs
https://www.cityweekly.net/utah/even-jesus-is-too-woke-for-the-maga-right/Content?oid=20336976
Christianity Today Editor: Evangelicals Call Jesus “Liberal” and “Weak”
A former evangelical leader is sounding the alarm about the direction his religion is headed in.
The editor in chief of Christianity Today is warning that evangelical Christianity is moving too far to the right, to the point that even Jesus’s teachings are considered “weak” now.
Russell Moore resigned from the Southern Baptist Convention in 2021, after years of being at odds with other evangelical leaders. Specifically, Moore openly criticized Donald Trump, whom many evangelical Christians embraced. Moore also criticized the Southern Baptist Convention’s response to a sexual abuse crisis and increasing tolerance for white nationalism in the community.
https://newrepublic.com/post/174950/christianity-today-editor-evangelicals-call-jesus-liberal-weak
Do Evangelicals Think Trump Is Jesus?
One of the big story lines in the 2024 Republican presidential-nomination contest is the competition for support from politically active conservative white Evangelicals, whose overwhelming support helped put Donald Trump in the White House. The battle is particularly acute in Iowa, where they make up close to two-thirds of the Republicans who will make someone the 2024 front-runner.
Trump actually lost Iowa Evangelicals (and the Iowa caucuses) to Ted Cruz in 2016, but won an astonishing 81 percent of self-identified white Evangelicals nationally in the 2016 general election and an only slightly less overwhelming 76 percent in 2020. So some of his 2024 rivals are praying for him to lose traction in born-again pews and pulpits.
https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2023/05/do-white-evangelicals-think-trump-is-jesus.html
Francis has previously acknowledged the criticism directed at him from some U.S. conservatives, once quipping that it was an "honor" to be attacked by American's Republicans.
ROME — Pope Francis has blasted the "backwardness" of some conservatives in the U.S. Catholic Church, saying they have replaced faith with ideology and that a correct understanding of Catholic doctrine allows for change over time.
Francis' comments were an acknowledgment of the divisions in the U.S. Catholic Church, which has been split between progressives and conservatives who long found support in the doctrinaire papacies of St. John Paul II and Benedict XVI, particularly on issues of abortion and same-sex marriage.
https://www.stltoday.com/life-entertainment/nation-world/faith-values/pope-francis-us-catholic-conservatives-backward/article_757fde8a-c30a-5b97-b7fd-4eba8e7dccf4.html
The Blasphemy of Comparing Trump to Jesus Christ
Before and after Donald Trump’s historic indictment and arraignment, countless MAGA Republican provocateurs have been noting the Holy Week timing and blasphemously comparing Trump to Jesus.
“As Christ was crucified, and then rose again on the 3rd day, so too will Donald Trump,” tweeted one right-wing lawyer known for representing Jan. 6 insurrectionists. Other influencers making the comparison include Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, TPUSA Faith founder Charlie Kirk, and even Trump’s own attorney. Trump, himself, framed his arrest as an attack on Christians in an “emergency prayer call” on Tuesday, April 4, with televangelist and longtime aide Paula White-Cain, attorney Rudy Giuliani, and MAGA worship leader Sean Feucht.
Any comparison between Trump and Christ is clearly heretical and inappropriate. However, these extremist voices are right about one thing: There is, indeed, a parallel between Donald Trump’s arrest and Holy Week. But it’s not between Trump and Jesus—it’s between MAGA leaders and Pontius Pilate, the brutal Roman governor who ordered Christ’s crucifixion.
https://time.com/6269313/trump-jesus-comparisons-blasphemy/
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